#Abortion, #Atonement, #Catholics, #Christians, #Forgiveness, #God, #Jews, #LDS, #loss

Questions on my mind

Today is a Sabbath day for me. I love the Sabbath days that God has given unto His children. A day of rest from our labors. A day to meet with others and partake of the Sacrament in remembrance of Jesus Christ and him crucified for us.

As I was reading this morning, I came across things that prophets have spoken since days began about God’s laws. One of the very first laws God gave was for Adam and Eve to go forth and multiply. He never rescinded that law. All of their posterity (of which you and I are one) were under obligation to honor that same law.

When I was married, I told my husband I would give him no more children until he became a better father to the two I had given him. Big mistake on my part, because after our children were kidnapped, he wanted me to have more children, and I refused. I was grieving for that which I had lost, and did not want to create more with a man who would not protect us.

When my home was broken into a few years later (after my husband left) I became pregnant by strangers. I believe that little spirit was to have been mine and she wanted to come to earth so badly that she came the way she did just to get her body. If I had not refused my husband, perhaps she could have come to a married father and mother. I did give her life, yet, when I had cancer I had to give her up. God wanted me to have children, yet, that was not to be my joy in this life. I was never to give birth to another child.

This morning, I read something that one of the prophets of this last dispensation said. I would like to share it with you:

…”If the love of the world and wicked practices of the world mean more to a man and a woman then to keep the commandment of the Lord in this respect (to multiply) then they shut themselves off from the eternal blessing of increase. Those who willfully and maliciously design to break this important commandment shall be damned. They cannot have the Spirit of the Lord.” . . .

“If we refuse to live by the covenants we make, especially in the house of the Lord, then we cannot receive the blessings of those covenants in eternity. If the responsibilities of parenthood are willfully avoided here, then how can the Lord bestow upon the guilty the blessings of eternal increase? It cannot be, and they shall be denied such blessings (Joseph Fielding Smith 1955 – Doctrines of Salvation 2: 87-89)

I was not a member of the Lord’s true church when I married my husband, so we were not sealed in marriage, although I did believe in my vows (until death us do part). I remarried after the rape, and my first husband was not dead (He had obtained a divorce for mental cruelty since I refused him). Until I joined the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day-saints I did not even know what a Temple was. Now, I honor my covenants with the Lord. Knowing the great blessings God wants us to have, not just in this life, but for all eternity helps me to keep going.

Over years past, I have been able to help other women who got pregnant, either by incest, rape, or by sex outside of marriage. I have felt good in helping them to learn truth in time to save the child they otherwise would have aborted. I know many women can not give birth to a child, and the only way they can have a family is to adopt others children. I believe that those sweet little ones came to earth so these good women can have that blessing.

In the world today, many have been tricked into not knowing what they were doing. Many are using abortion as a form of birth control. As I have seen women who have had abortions in the past learn truth, I strive to comfort them and let them know that since they did not know, the Atonement covers that sin of murder. I know many mourn and grieve for the rest of their lives over what was done. It also breaks my heart when I see so many blame God for their own bad choices.

Now that Planned Parenthood is being exposed for what they really do, many are speaking up and stopping the funding of these murders of the innocent. I am glad they are waking up.

Elder Melvin J Ballard  (Not the Apostle today, but his father whom he was named after) said the following:

. . .”About the throne of our Father are his children whose numbers are fixed and have not been changed nor altered from the beginning, so far as those who were to come to this earth are concerned; for they were seen, even from the days of Adam, the host of the unborn. They have cried around the throne of the Father night and day for the privilege of coming into earth life, and they seek that opportunity today.”

I am grateful that Father has not already burned the earth for what we have allowed to happen to those sweet little spirits in years past.  But I do know the day will come that all those who knowingly do these atrocities shall pay a high price, higher than they now know, for the millions of innocents they destroyed. The things done to these wee ones is worse than anything Hitler and those who followed him ever did to thousands of innocent people.

This is not just my opinion, for I know that God Himself is displeased with the shedding of innocent blood.

May God forgive us and help us to be valiant in keeping the commandments He has given us personally, is my prayer, in the sacred name of Jesus Christ, amen

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#Adversity, #Faith, #Hope, #LDS, #loss, #love, #ShareGoodness

Reactions to Adversity

“Choose carefully each day that which you will do and that which you will not do, and the Lord will bless you to accomplish the important things that have eternal consequences.” Marjorie Pay Hinckley

There have been times when I have messed up. I reacted poorly to that which was happening to me. When I was young, I had no clue who I really was, thus, I became what my family taught me. I became a liar and a thief. I stole to feed myself and my little girl. I lied so no one would know truth about my family. I believed I was a murderer, as my mother had died because of me, thus I deserved all those horrible things I had gone through. I had burned down my uncle’s house, therefore I believed I was an arsonist. The reality was, my mother survived until I was 3.6 years old, and the fire was an accident, but I knew that not until I was older. For too many years the case was, I had been taught wrong principles, however, when I was almost 30 years old, I heard that I am really a child of God who lived with my Heavenly Parents before I came to my mortal parents.

In Proverbs 22:6 it reads:

“Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.”

A child of God is what I had yearned to be, even before I knew how old I was; way back, when I was living in my father’s back yard. I had heard about a God who protected His children from the old black book my sister found, which had belonged to my mother. I had wanted to have a father like the one who protected Shadrach, Meshach and Aded-nego (Daniel 3), and low and behold, here I was being assured that I do, in fact, have a Father who does loves me.

I am grateful to my second step-mother for sending me to a parochial school for a few months so that I could learn who Jesus Christ was. Little did I know back then, that He not only was the son of God, but He is still alive and He loves me, personally.

Learning line upon line, step upon step, I have found true happiness. Over the course of many years I have learned so much. Truth is, I still have problems, but now I can handle each one that comes into my life. I must share with you one situation, that is very frustrating to me. That is the way the elderly are treated. Because of my early youth, I have been locked up many times, as I am different than a “normal” person. Some feel I should never be allowed to be on my own.

There was a local hospital, where the “doctor” believed I should be drugged, and since I refused to partake, he kept trying to trick me into taking the drugs. He ordered others to do certain things which would cause me to lose my temper. However, he was not aware that I had been tricked when I was young, so I knew what was being done. Only once were they able to restrain me and drug me. I was able to obtain some scriptures, so each morning and evening, I read words that gave me comfort. Even when they grabbed me and caused great pain to my body, I continued to pray for them. Yes, a few times, I did lose my cool and yell, however, I repented afterwards, and finally, the time came when others working there called those who could help me and they were forced to take me to court. They had to prove I was insane and did not deserve to return to my home. The Lawyer and the Judge were on my side, which irritated those whom wanted me locked up. Nonetheless, they had to release me.

While I was locked up, I was able to comfort others, and teach some of those who did not know Jesus Christ and how much He loved them. I invited many to pray and they did. I was blessed in that there was one male nurse who has showed up each time I have been locked up. He is of my same faith, and while others did things to cause me pain and then stood about mocking and laughing, he came into my room and helped me many times. After I was released, I asked that he be given a certificate of appreciation, and a pay raise. This last time, I learned that he was moving and going to open his own clinic. He was training many others in how to treat the elderly and be of help rather than harm. I am so proud of him.

While my life is not over yet, I have found there are those who validate me, and are helping me to be the best I can be. God truly does watch over His children, even in times of trial. He knows His children, and when we choose to do what is right, He has great joy. As a loving Father, I am sure that when we chose to not do what is right, it gives Him great sorrow. I l pray that I may endure well whatever comes, so that I can be with Him and Heavenly Mother for all eternity. I want to personally thank my Lord for all He did and is doing for me. I am a child of God.

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#America, #Faith, #God, #Goodness, #JesusChrist, #loss, #Mercy, #Prayer, #Righteousness, #Suffering, #War

May God Bless America

I pledge Allegiance to the flag of the United States of America and to the Republic for which it stands, one nation under God, indivisible, with Liberty and Justice for all. 

Why have we allowed others to take GOD out of America? Why have we allowed others to make Prayers Illegal? This is not what God had in mind when He dedicated America for the safety of His people. 

Here, in America we have welcomed all people. Yet, why have we allowed them to change what we stand for? That is not why this great country was founded by our forefathers. Perhaps you never lived where murder was common place. Perhaps you have not lived where you were tortured every day because you said incest was wrong. Perhaps you have not been drugged, and beaten and tortured by others because of what you believe. I HAVE!

If you don’t stand up for what is right in America, than you are what is wrong in America. Do you really believe that the God who created this planet will allow this to continue forever?

May Father will forgive my outburst, and allow me to stay free, nonetheless, I shall speak up for what is right, even if I am killed by those who want to stop me. I may have to roll in a wheelchair up to the Capital, but I shall do it nonetheless. I may not have arms to defend myself any longer, yet I shall continue to speak truth. I have been heard in many places and many states when evil is trying to creep in unawares. I shall not be silent unless God Himself asks me to be still. Perhaps this is why He has given me this particular illness. So I can be still and allow others to stand up.

Please, I beg of you, Stand Up and do something before God Himself does it for you.

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#BeCauseHeLives, #Christian, #Depression, #Faith, #Gift, #God, #Hope, #Jesus Christ, #loss, #Mercy, #Pain, #Patience, #peace, #Prayer, #Trust, #Truth, #Women

Sad memories

I can remember when I began to bleed and was rushed to the hospital. My husband came and sat beside me, holding my hand. I had just given birth to a little a few months previously, and did not really know what was going on.

Then, the doctor came in and said, “It’s cancer. We need to get you upstairs right away. You will have no more children.” He then looked at my husband as the nurse gave me a shot. My husband went with him and I went to sleep.

When I was able to go home, my husband paced behind the couch. I asked him to come hold me. He back up. Then, he said, ‘I can’t take this. A baby is one thing, cancer is something else. I need to leave, now.” He walked out the door and drove off.

I was so alone, so scared, and had no one to call or any way to find comfort. I put a blanket around my baby and get into my car and just drove.

Tears fell down my face and I don’t remember what my thoughts were. I just know I drove until I saw the red lights flashing in my rear view mirror. I pulled the car over to the side of the road, and the officer motioned me to roll down my window.

“Did you know you were going over 100 miles an hour?” he asked. I continued to cry and then he leaned over and looked at my little girl on the front seat. He asked me to step out of the car, which I did, and then he talked to me. I spoke of what had happened, and he took us to a coffee shop and we talked. He made a phone call, then told me to follow him. He took me home to be with his wife, who held me and comforted me until I could stop crying.

I was there for 3 days and nights, while she cared for me and my child. Then, I went home, and began to think of how I was going to care for a child and still have my treatments. How was I going to work… Life was never easy, but I did what I had to do. I survived, until the next bout of cancer stuck it’s ugly head up.

Sorry to be so down tonight. I should have been in bed almost an hour ago. I shall return and then begin again. Good night.

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#Christian, #Depression, #Hope, #loss, #love, #Meditation

For those who mourn

For Those Who Mourn
By Paul Buckingham

Just one of those quiet, aged sisters
Who touched your soul with her smile;
Slowly, unpretentiously she moved about
Keeping commandments,
Attending,
Serving.
She is
Someone’s daughter,
Someone’s mother,
Someone’s wife,
Now a widow,
Dead.

And few notice her passing.
There is no crowded chapel,
No rippled shock of grief
Through generations of humanity—
Just a quiet, undecorated,
Mildly celebrated
Death.

Her obituary notice falls
In yesterday’s trash,
The funeral flowers wilt and dry.
But in the
Heart of heaven
There are kisses on her cheek,
Embraces,
For a cherished spirit has returned,
A prized daughter is crowned,
Glorified.
And I suspect it was such a
Quiet death
Because we could not hear the
Celebration of her
Arrival.

This gives me comfort this night. Tonight, I think of my youngest child. My dear sweet daughter whom was never really mine. She was created from pain and suffering, and survived because I pleaded with God to give her life. She was willing to just obtain her body then go back home.

I know not if she is alive or dead. I had to give her to someone who had prayed for a child and could not have her own. She came to me unexpected, and at that time not wanted. Yet, when she came forth, how could I not love her and want her. A neighbor’s son married me so the name on her birth certificate would never bring her shame. Yet, she was not his either.

On the 9th of April she was born in body. I still mourn for what might have been if I had only had a righteous husband to love and protect me from evil. But then, if I had that man, she never would have been born. She came during the course of a few nights and days from wicked men who broke into my home.

I mourn for my own children, whom I never was allowed to love and raise. Yet, I do not mourn for them, as I know they were blessed while out of my keep. They were able to love each other and nurture each other. My daughter was mother to my son when I could not be.

My world may be different than yours, but we are all different, yet the same, aren’t we?

I shall love my children through all eternity, yet they are not mine. They belong to God, just as I do. I pray they learned of Him.

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