#Adversity, #Atonement, #BeCauseHeLives, #Cancer, #Chronic Illness, #Comfort, #Faith, #FamilyOfGod, #Healing, #MentalHealth, #Pain, #Suffering, #Testimony, Uncategorized


Enduring is not easy. Oh no! Yet, when I think about my Lord, and all He went through, I know that what I go through is minor. Did you ever notice how when we hear other people’s problems our own are not as bad?

Many of my friends also suffer in various ways. I pray for them, and I know they pray for me, that our pain may be lessened. Some of the people I admire most have been those who suffered much more than I ever will. Just to name two: Spencer W. Kimball and Neal A. Maxwell. Yet they endured well. I pray I may be as valiant as they.

We all suffer in one form or another. The thing that keeps me going is my faith in Jesus Christ. When I am in great pain, I do what my doctor(s) tell me to do, yet I also take it to the Lord. I am a firm believer that  Jesus Christ has restored the Priesthood back to the Earth to bless men and women, and so I ask for blessings at the hands of those who not only hold, but “honor” that Priesthood. Just because someone says they are a priest does not make then one. Only those who “Honor Their Covenants” and “Keep the Commandments or strive so to do” are worthy to hold the “Power” that comes with that calling. (Just my humble opinion.)

Anne Morrow Lindbergh wisely cautioned:

“I do not believe that sheer suffering teaches. If suffering alone taught, all the world would be wise, since everyone suffers. To suffering must be added mourning, understanding, patience, love, openness and the willingness to remain vulnerable” (quoted in “Lindbergh Nightmare,” Time, 5 February 1973, 35).

Certain forms of suffering, endured well, can actually be ennobling.

Annie Swetchine said,

“Those who have suffered much are like those who know many languages; they have learned to understand and be understood by all” (quoted in Neal A. Maxwell, We Will Prove Them Herewith [1982], 123).

When I reflect upon my Saviour and think upon all he endured at the hands of others, I cringe. I tend to whine from time to time over my struggles, yet He never did. They spit upon him. They beat him. They scourged him with whips. They cast him in prison. They dragged him through the town naked and placed a crown of thorns upon his head, before they nailed him to that cross. And to make it even worse, they did that “after” he had bled at every pore because of the pains, mourning, depression, injustice and sins of everyone who ever has been born, who was then alive, and all who would yet be born. Yet, he still had compassion.

Jesus Christ rose victorious over death and He did that for you and me. Our pains only last a short time compared to the pains of those who reject him or refuse to repent of their own sins.

Another wise man, who was also a prophet of God, Gordon B. Hinckley once said,

“Don’t get discouraged, things will work out!”

I hung that quote with his photograph on the wall in my bedroom. When I am feeling sorry for myself, and start to get discouraged, I look up and see it, and know things will work out. I turn my head and look upon my other wall and see the picture of the current Prophet, Thomas S. Monson, and think about him telling me to:

“Be more positive…”

When President Ezra Taft Benson called me to Salt Lake City, Utah, he said (among other things):

“Hang the words of the prophets on your walls, and then go out and do good.”

I am a firm believer in following the prophets and have always been blessed because I do that. It is not that I do not experience problems, for I surely do. It is that after – I experience greater blessings and that makes it worth whatever I have gone through.

In the Holy Bible we read:

“And every one that hath forsaken houses, or brethren, or sisters, or father, or mother, or wife, or children, or lands, for my name’s sake, shall receive an hundredfold, and shall inherit everlasting life.” (Matthew 19:29)

God does not lie.

Gentle hugs from a distance.









#Adversity, #Atonement, #Blessing, #Cancer, #Christian, #Chronic Illness, #Comfort, #ElderHolland, #Faith, #God, #Hope, #JesusChrist, #Jew, #LDS

Don’t Give Up

I do not know if you are religious or not, but I wish to share something with you that has helped me.

“When we allow God to come into our lives (or we are wise enough to come into His) He “enlarges our steps” for the path we must walk – or, in more modern language, He gives us bigger feet that do not slip.”

“But other elements of God’s miraculous help consists of things He does to, in effect, let us help ourselves. Some paths we feel we just can’t walk. Some mountains seem just too high to climb. Some steps are just too difficult to take. When that is so, heaven does intervene, but often it is not to smooth out the path or remove the mountain or shorten the steps. More often than not, God sends help in a different way. He makes us stronger and more sure-footed. In effect, He gives us bigger feet, stronger legs, a firmer back, more stiffened shoulders. He deals with us rather than with the problem we face. We then proceed with new strength, less slipping, and are all the stronger for it.”                                                 Jeffery R Holland, an Apostle of the Lord Jesus Christ.

Just as you have illnesses that frustrate you, I too have many disabling illnesses. Arthritis, at times so bad, that my neck; shoulders; back; arms; knees; even my fingers and toes tend to hurt even just to move them. I also have stomach issues: GERD and Barrett’s Disease, thus, at times, I vomit a lot. I had a hole in my right eye and lost all the fluid. I was horribly abused as a small child and in my growing up years. I had more blows to my head than a boxer receives over many years in the ring. I had been in a car accident that almost cost me my life. My children had been kidnapped when they were mere babies. I have had recurring bouts with cancer. As a child, I had protein malnutrition.

It came to pass in my life, there was a period of time (four years in fact) that I had to stay mostly in bed or at a hospital. During that time, I contracted e-coli; double pneumonia; blood clots; and Cellulitis on my legs so bad that I almost died from each as well as could have lost both my legs. I have been in and out of various types of hospitals since I was about 6 years old. The majority of the time I have had zero help from others. When I developed cancer as a young woman, my husband walked out on me and my new baby to fend for ourselves.

As you can see, I understand just how hard some of you have it in life. Yet, I want you to know that the words of Jeffrey R Holland are true. I testify to you that I am able to walk now. I can see again with both eyes and there are no more lesions on my brain. The growths throughout my body are all gone. I still have both legs. I still have issues, yes, however, I can do more now and be happier than I have ever been in my entire life.

Psalms 18: 36 “Thou hast enlarged my steps under me, that my feet did not slip.”

Psalms 94:17-19  “Unless the Lord had been my help, my soul had almost dwelt in silence. When I said, My foot slippeth; thy mercy, O Lord, held me up. In the multitude of my thoughts within me thy comforts delight my soul.”

Jesus is “The Christ” in Greek = Messiah in Hebrew. We know that Jehovah = God of the earth of the Old Testament. I learned that Jesus is the Christ, by what I experienced as a small child. He took me out of that closet. He was with me in that back yard. He was with me at my uncle’s home. He was with me in institutions. God sent missionaries to find me when I was out in the desert in Arizona and they taught me all I needed to know: so that I could recognize that it was He who had been with me as a child in California. There might be mistakes in the scriptures, yet they are men’s mistakes not God’s. God lives. Jesus is the Christ. The Atonement He made on our behalf is real, if we will seek it. The Holy Spirit is real. He teaches us truth and never lies.

I don’t mean to be preachy, but I felt you needed to hear these things this morning. Please, don’t give up. I know how badly you want all this crap to end, but don’t give up. I know there are times when it gets bad before it can get better. What you are going through will not last forever.

“Counsel with the Lord in all thy doings, and He will direct thee for good; yea, when thou liest down at night lie down unto the Lord, that He may watch over you in your sleep; and when thou risest in the morning let thy heart be full of thanks unto God; and if ye do these things, ye shall be lifted up at the last day.” Alma 37:37

#Adversity, #Faith, #Hope, #LDS, #loss, #love, #ShareGoodness

Reactions to Adversity

“Choose carefully each day that which you will do and that which you will not do, and the Lord will bless you to accomplish the important things that have eternal consequences.” Marjorie Pay Hinckley

There have been times when I have messed up. I reacted poorly to that which was happening to me. When I was young, I had no clue who I really was, thus, I became what my family taught me. I became a liar and a thief. I stole to feed myself and my little girl. I lied so no one would know truth about my family. I believed I was a murderer, as my mother had died because of me, thus I deserved all those horrible things I had gone through. I had burned down my uncle’s house, therefore I believed I was an arsonist. The reality was, my mother survived until I was 3.6 years old, and the fire was an accident, but I knew that not until I was older. For too many years the case was, I had been taught wrong principles, however, when I was almost 30 years old, I heard that I am really a child of God who lived with my Heavenly Parents before I came to my mortal parents.

In Proverbs 22:6 it reads:

“Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.”

A child of God is what I had yearned to be, even before I knew how old I was; way back, when I was living in my father’s back yard. I had heard about a God who protected His children from the old black book my sister found, which had belonged to my mother. I had wanted to have a father like the one who protected Shadrach, Meshach and Aded-nego (Daniel 3), and low and behold, here I was being assured that I do, in fact, have a Father who does loves me.

I am grateful to my second step-mother for sending me to a parochial school for a few months so that I could learn who Jesus Christ was. Little did I know back then, that He not only was the son of God, but He is still alive and He loves me, personally.

Learning line upon line, step upon step, I have found true happiness. Over the course of many years I have learned so much. Truth is, I still have problems, but now I can handle each one that comes into my life. I must share with you one situation, that is very frustrating to me. That is the way the elderly are treated. Because of my early youth, I have been locked up many times, as I am different than a “normal” person. Some feel I should never be allowed to be on my own.

There was a local hospital, where the “doctor” believed I should be drugged, and since I refused to partake, he kept trying to trick me into taking the drugs. He ordered others to do certain things which would cause me to lose my temper. However, he was not aware that I had been tricked when I was young, so I knew what was being done. Only once were they able to restrain me and drug me. I was able to obtain some scriptures, so each morning and evening, I read words that gave me comfort. Even when they grabbed me and caused great pain to my body, I continued to pray for them. Yes, a few times, I did lose my cool and yell, however, I repented afterwards, and finally, the time came when others working there called those who could help me and they were forced to take me to court. They had to prove I was insane and did not deserve to return to my home. The Lawyer and the Judge were on my side, which irritated those whom wanted me locked up. Nonetheless, they had to release me.

While I was locked up, I was able to comfort others, and teach some of those who did not know Jesus Christ and how much He loved them. I invited many to pray and they did. I was blessed in that there was one male nurse who has showed up each time I have been locked up. He is of my same faith, and while others did things to cause me pain and then stood about mocking and laughing, he came into my room and helped me many times. After I was released, I asked that he be given a certificate of appreciation, and a pay raise. This last time, I learned that he was moving and going to open his own clinic. He was training many others in how to treat the elderly and be of help rather than harm. I am so proud of him.

While my life is not over yet, I have found there are those who validate me, and are helping me to be the best I can be. God truly does watch over His children, even in times of trial. He knows His children, and when we choose to do what is right, He has great joy. As a loving Father, I am sure that when we chose to not do what is right, it gives Him great sorrow. I l pray that I may endure well whatever comes, so that I can be with Him and Heavenly Mother for all eternity. I want to personally thank my Lord for all He did and is doing for me. I am a child of God.