I can remember when I began to bleed and was rushed to the hospital. My husband came and sat beside me, holding my hand. I had just given birth to a little a few months previously, and did not really know what was going on.
Then, the doctor came in and said, “It’s cancer. We need to get you upstairs right away. You will have no more children.” He then looked at my husband as the nurse gave me a shot. My husband went with him and I went to sleep.
When I was able to go home, my husband paced behind the couch. I asked him to come hold me. He back up. Then, he said, ‘I can’t take this. A baby is one thing, cancer is something else. I need to leave, now.” He walked out the door and drove off.
I was so alone, so scared, and had no one to call or any way to find comfort. I put a blanket around my baby and get into my car and just drove.
Tears fell down my face and I don’t remember what my thoughts were. I just know I drove until I saw the red lights flashing in my rear view mirror. I pulled the car over to the side of the road, and the officer motioned me to roll down my window.
“Did you know you were going over 100 miles an hour?” he asked. I continued to cry and then he leaned over and looked at my little girl on the front seat. He asked me to step out of the car, which I did, and then he talked to me. I spoke of what had happened, and he took us to a coffee shop and we talked. He made a phone call, then told me to follow him. He took me home to be with his wife, who held me and comforted me until I could stop crying.
I was there for 3 days and nights, while she cared for me and my child. Then, I went home, and began to think of how I was going to care for a child and still have my treatments. How was I going to work… Life was never easy, but I did what I had to do. I survived, until the next bout of cancer stuck it’s ugly head up.
Sorry to be so down tonight. I should have been in bed almost an hour ago. I shall return and then begin again. Good night.